New beginnings

It's been a while since my last post, but I have been busy wrapping up 8 years of living and working in Sydney and moving back to the UK.  The gems of wisdom picked up from reading some great books have helped make this move feel like the start of an exciting new chapter in life where we can put some of these ideas into practice.

So...what's on the agenda?

1.  Finding fulfilling work

I've had 6 months off and loved having a slower pace of life at home, but I'm ready to get back into it. I'll be going back to Roman Krznaric's wise book How to Find Fulfilling Work to remind myself how to go about this.

2.  My Happiness Project

One of my favourite books, Gretchen Rubin's fantastic Happiness Project, contains what she calls her First Splendid Truth:

"To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth"

Tonnes of things are making me feel good at the moment - being in the same time zone as my friends and family, writing actual letters to my best friend (which we started doing when we were teenagers) and spending lots of time with my kids. I am loving being in England again despite the bitterly cold weather at the moment, it is my spiritual home!  The growth part is definitely covered by the total change in living circumstances...new people...new places...new things to do.  All that's left is to tackle the "feeling bad" part which for me is about doing the things I avoid...

3.  Finding a home

We have lived in 5 different houses in the year since my last post.  Now we're looking for a home where we can grow things, make things, keep chickens and know our neighbours and we won't want to move again for a very very long time.  Great books  Happier at Home and the Architecture of Happiness will help with the deliberations...otherwise, Homes & Gardens magazine will do for eye candy.

4.  Learning and doing new things

What life's all about really isn't it?  I have gushed about the School of Life before and just found out about The Idler...wow...I wish there was one near me.  Another institution promoting the benefits of making things.  If I knit a tea cosy will it bring my life greater enjoyment and satisfaction? Maybe it will, I had an email today from Radio 4 to say they love knitting and will be celebrating it all next week.  Aaah, it's great to be back in England.

Homeward Bound

Happy New Year!

A busy run up to Christmas means I have a backlog of books I've been meaning to write about, and with my new year enthusiasm, I've promised myself I'll get on with it before I forget all about them...

First up for 2014 is Homeward Bound: Why Women are Embracing the New Domesticity by Emily Matchar.  It's an interesting book that is really an examination of the rise in popularity of "domesticity" (in the broadest sense of the word) in American culture. What the book does well is to bring together lots of mini trends into one large narrative, which is the rise of "do-it-yourself" in all aspects of life.  It was so current in its observations I was basically ticking things off the list that I / my friends do...

Food - growing your own veggies, rearing backyard chickens, cooking food from scratch, scrutiny over what you're feeding your kids.  We used to grow herbs in the car park of our old apartment block and some former neighbours came over the other day with a jar of pickled chillies that were grown in that same car park!  Now that we've moved to a house with a backyard we have got a little veggie patch (tomatoes, watermelon, green beans) and a lot more herbs and it's all pretty lovely really.  

Crafting and creativity - yep, everyone's at this now. I have an amazing friend who self published a cook book in her spare time (while working full time as a hair stylist).  I went through a brief phase of knitting toys for my friends' newborn babies, and got some lovely handmade things as gifts when we had our two kids.  Whenever we were given anything handmade for our babies, these were the things I cherished the most and find very hard to part with. Other friends have upholstered armchairs, reconditioned dining tables, set up photography businesses, made short movies and given art they've done themselves as presents. My husband's writing music.  Everyone's getting creative.

Parenting - yikes, this one's a can of worms. Matchar thinks attachment parenting fits into this DIY trend.  This is the intensive, extended breastfeeding, co sleeping, ultra responsive (to minimise crying) style of parenting that's very popular now with certain types.  Matchar thinks this also extends to the rising trends for unschooling and homeschooling we're now seeing.  Attachment parenting is not compatible with working in an office where you can't take the baby with you - so Matchar explores the implications for the women who devote themselves completely to parenting.

Work - lots of people are stepping out of (or have been pushed, due to the recession) the traditional, corporate workforce to concentrate on these things. There is a really good section  about Lisa Belkin's famous article "The Opt-Out Revolution" and the author airs her concerns about the dangers of women's short term outlook when dropping out of paid work.  She also makes the case that most of the people selling stuff on Etsy only earn pocket money and that being self sufficient foodwise (backyard chickens, preserving fruits, growing veggies) is time consuming and tiring. So she argues it's a nice idea to think you'll earn a living from selling handmade cushions on Etsy and produce all your own food but unlikely in reality - and if you do, it'll be hard and probably not that fun.

The author points out that these DIY trends have been driven in part by a growing lack of faith in collective solutions (because of food scandals, worries about public hospitals and schools), but in this quest for self sufficiency and all things "natural" the author argues that we risk developing a culture of hyper individualism where the focus is on ourselves, our immediate families and our own children.  Matchar worries that this means there are fewer people who are engaging in finding communal solutions to communal problems - for example, if you don't think your local school is any good, you can either pull out your child to home school or unschool them, or you could take action to change that school so the other kids in your community benefit as well as your own child.  Matchar thinks the growing trend for the former is concerning for society as a whole.
 
This book also made me see the link between all the TV shows either I or my husband have been watching lately...Moonshiners, Mountain Men, Wheeler Dealers (about fixing up cars to sell on), Kevin McCloud's Man Made Home, Kirstie's Homemade Home, River Cottage...they're all about making, growing or fixing things. That's just what we're all into at the moment isn't it?

By the end of the book I'd lost my romantic notions of the warm, fuzzy loveliness of the new domesticity (the food and creativity bits anyway, the attachment parenting thing's not my style) as Homeward Bound is pretty upfront about the risks and the downsides of this movement.  My enthusiasm came back, however, when I read the next book, Plenitude: the New Economics of True Wealth by Juliet Schor, which I was alerted to in Homeward Bound. Stay tuned.

How to Change the World

I've been meaning to write about How to Change the World by John-Paul Flintoff for ages as it made a big impression on me. It's from the School of Life series so it's short, to the point and full of ideas.  This book is aimed at those of us who like the idea of changing the world in some way, but feel small, ultimately a bit powerless, think it's all too hard and then don't do anything else about it.

The book starts with a chapter on "Overcoming Defeatism" to get us out of this frame of mind and to remind us of the power of ordinary people.  If we want to hold a street party and get frustrated by petty regulations, Flintoff says we have a choice - we can either try to change the silly rules or we can just ignore them.  He talks about Gene Sharp who compiled an astonishing list of methods of "non violent action" - this sounds a bit alarming I know - but it is basically a very long list of ways of "doing something"  (all 198 of them are included in the appendix).  Flintoff says:

"Sharp demands that we remove our blinkers and recognise that political power is our own power - and that it does not reside only at the ballot box"

(Sounds like something Russell Brand would probably agree with based on his recent interview with Jeremy Paxman.)

So - that's the rousing call to action...but for what cause? Flintoff suggests how we can figure out what is important to us - what we actually want to take action on - and how to cultivate a sense of purpose.  There are some exercises in the book to help you work through those questions.

Next he suggests taking stock of your personal skills and qualities so you can work out how best you can help with your chosen cause.  After reflecting on his own experiences and skills, Flintoff comes up with this (which I love):

"I resolved from now on to stop thinking of myself only as a writer. I am also an artist, a baker, a career coach, a carpenter, a cleaner, a cook, a decorator, a dog walker, an English language teacher, a film maker, a gardener, a map maker, a bike messenger, a minicab driver, a qualified first aider, a printer, a publisher, a rubbish collector, a Scout patrol leader, a second hand bookseller, a tailor, a typist, a waiter, a washer up and possibly much else. I have to say that drawing up this list gave quite a boost to my self-esteem." 

He says there are two ways to change the world - to reduce suffering or to increase pleasure.    In the "increasing pleasure" category he talks about art and creativity.  He argues that "when we engage creatively with the world, we are having an impact".  In his mind, this is not confined to the fine arts, it could be making clothes or playing in a band.  Flintoff says

"A good world is not a world where everybody fixates on global problems according to some externally imposed framework of 'importance'. A good world is one in which people find meaning in the particular things they do - and that means a word that has a place for beauty, creativity and play."

In a nutshell then, changing the world doesn't have to be serious and heavy - we can have fun doing it too.  There are some great examples in the book of art projects and social enterprises, one of them is the Craftivist Collective which uses craft in activism.

The remainder of the book talks about where money fits in, how to get others to help, and changing the world in the wider community. There are lots of inspiring stories about people with great ideas, many of them sounded so simple that I thought, wow, I could do that.  I've come across other stories since reading this book that could have come straight from these pages. Just ordinary people doing the sort of world changing things Flintoff talks about in this book. 

How to Find Fulfilling Work

I love libraries. I set up this blog in the State Library of New South Wales and I'm writing this post from Avalon Community Library on a glorious sunny spring day.

It was during an unexpected afternoon in my local library last month that I began reading How to Find Fulfilling Work by Roman Krznaric, one of the books in the fantastic School of Life series, which is edited by the equally fantastic Alain de Botton.  After about half an hour of starting the book, sitting in the study section of Manly Library, I got an excited urge to run out to the newsagents and buy a notebook and pen so I could remember the insights starting to emerge from the pages.  Five minutes later and back in the library, I spent the entire afternoon immersed in the book.

I think most of us at some time in our careers question whether what we're doing is the right thing for us. I happened to be in the middle of a couple of weeks off work so it was a good topic to reflect on.  I loved this book.  It completely changed the way I think about work - and how I use the time I have in my life - and found it quite liberating.

Thinking about work can be mind bogglingly complex.  Krznaric breaks it down nicely and works through the elements methodically.

He very neatly sets out his view that fulfilling work has 3 key elements:

• Meaning
• Flow
• Freedom

He then breaks down "meaning" into 5 components: money, status, making a difference, following our passions and using our talents.  He explains that money and status are extrinsic motivating factors and the others are intrinsic motivating factors. Given everyone will have different preferences and priorities around these components, Krznaric says there is no single blueprint for a meaningful career.

The next part of the book looks at each of the 5 components in more detail.  The role of money in life and happiness is a fascinating topic in itself (and the subject of another book in the School of Life series called "How to Worry Less About Money" - more on that later).  Status as a topic is also something that I find really interesting ("Status Anxiety" by Alain de Botton is on my list to re-read), and there's a great quote in Krznaric's book - which I've copied down from my scribbled notes so might not be word perfect but you get the gist:

"the universal desire for reputation in which we judge ourselves through other people's eyes is fraught with dangers"

Next he talks about "making a difference" and how this can weave into the world of work.   This made me think about the emerging world of social entrepreneurship and some articles I had read recently about people making a difference as individuals, and also prompted me to read "How to Change the World" by John Paul Flintoff - yes, you've guessed it - another in the School of Life series.

The fourth and fifth components are combined into a section on cultivating passions and talents. Again, he offers a great quote, this time from Francois-Rene de Chateaubriand:

"The master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labour and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both."

I love this quote.  It reminds me of an interview I read many years ago with the photographer, Mario Testino, who was talking about how he ended up becoming a professional photographer, and he said someone (father or grandfather...I forget who) told him that he should do a job he loved and use the weekends for rest, and not to choose a job that meant you had to fit your entire life into the weekends. I've never forgotten that.  There is another quote in the book, from Herminia Ibarra, that I absolutely loved and was an utter revelation to me:

"our working identity is not a hidden treasure to be discovered at the very core of our being - rather it is made up of many possibilities...we are many selves."

Krznaric argues that, because we each have within us a range of different experiences, interests and talents, we could find ourselves happy in a whole range of different jobs and we don't need to agonise over finding the one perfect thing. He encourages us to consider becoming "wide achievers" with "portfolio careers" (pursuing different jobs at the same time on a part time basis) or as "serial specialists" (doing a range of different jobs one after the other).  He encourages people to "act now, think later", because humans suffer from "negative bias" which makes them naturally cautious and more prone to focusing on what could go wrong.  He advocates decreasing risk by dipping your toes in the water of a new job or career by doing work experience, volunteering, undertaking training courses, talking to people who know about it and doing things in your spare time outside your main job (like write a blog!).

The remainder of the book talks about the other elements, flow and freedom, which I'll pick up in another blog post.

One thing I found really valuable about this book is the series of questions and exercises you are prompted to do throughout.  By taking the time to do them it makes the book more engaging and relevant to your own life. There is also a "homework" section at the back recommending further reading.

If you don't get round to reading the book, you can watch the author give a talk on it here.

Have a great weekend!